The Lore
Melonheads are said to be the product of Dr. Crow of Kirtland, Ohio (also referred to as Crowe or Kroh, but Crow appears to be the most common spelling). There are many different variations to this story, but most state that Dr. Crow would perform experiments on orphaned children in his home that would lead to a state of hydrocephalus in the children, hence the name “melonheads”. If you aren’t familiar, hydrocephalus is a condition in which there is excess fluid in the brain cavity, causing a lot of swelling. Hydrocephalus can be caused by head trauma, surgery, infections, tumors, hemorrhages, anything that could lead to a blockage of the flow of fluid that already exists in your brain cavity, causing it to build up over time.
It is said that the evil Dr. Crow’s victims one day killed him by burning his house down with him along with it, so the house no longer exists, but the children continue to terrorize the surrounding woods on Wisner Road to this day, free of their past torments. With no knowledge of the real world, how to behave in modern society, and mutilated beyond recognition, it would seem they attack innocent passersby out of fear due to their past trauma.
I haven’t seen much mention of the Melonheads past 2009, but teens would often visit the road at night and report sightings of small, humanoid creatures running past the road, and the sounds of laughter, particularly on and around the bridge (refer to Creepy Cleveland for the best personal accounts I could find). Based on the description of the road back from 2009, it looks like what was once a dead end road has since changed, so it is tough to place the exact spots where sightings were made; however, almost all of the encounters mention the bridge at one point or another, so if you plan to visit yourself, that sounds like the spot to be.
Locals say that many people in the area have gone missing or have been attacked by the little boogers, but I can only find 8 records of missing people in Lake county since 1985. Compared to other areas in Ohio, this isn’t really a crazy number at all, so it seems they don’t pose much of a risk. I DID find several articles from 1990 about a cult leader in the area that killed a family of 5 by “God’s command” which was pretty out there, but otherwise the city of Kirtland has it’s occasional murder or drama like any other city in the USA.
Honestly, I can’t find any records of Dr. Crow and his burnt down house, but a lot of local residents appear to be pretty convinced of the existence of these Melonheads, regardless of their origin. Kirtland isn’t too far off from Cleveland, one of the 3 largest cities in Ohio so I suppose if you are in the area, it could be a fun little stop. If I ever get the chance, I will be sure to update this post to let you all know if I run into any little brats running around the area at night with big egos.
Melonheads in the Media
Although I believe that this premise would make for a great film full of all of the best camp you could dream of, I found only one very low-budget, self-published film on the subject. Yes, I did buy a copy of it, and no I don't recommend even searching for it as the quality is so low-bar, and the story adds absolutely nothing to the existing lore, that you would only be wasting your time. It's not even a "it's so bad, it's kind of funny" kind of bad.
I limited my search on this topic to the Kirtland, Ohio area; however, there are mentions of this cryptid in both Michigan and Connecticut that I would like to catch up on some other time. If you have any good media recommendations on the Melonheads that focus on any of these locations, please let us know in the comments!
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